Chocolate Coconut Cricket Cookies
Because Dead Bug Biscuits is a bit of a hard sell….
I’m not sure when Sunday grocery shopping became a genuinely enjoyable leisure activity, but apparently it’s what I do for fun now. During the week I do smash and grab grocery shopping; either bolting in to collect the online order, or dragging between 1 and 3 children around with me, snatching up essentials whilst simultaneously slapping away grabby hands, chanting NO to their steady stream of ‘muuuumcanwehavethiiiiiss’. Weekends however, are a totally different story. I stroll calmly out of the house with just my keys and phone (amen for apple pay!), I park anywhere I please instead of jostling for space right at the door to minimise chances of kamikaze kids diving in front of cars. Inside I stroll slowly, knowing I don’t have to rush to any pick ups or drop offs because Dad is at home having ‘quality time’ with his little blessings.
I marvel at the lightness of my hands, the way my arms swing freely by my side, unencumbered by small bodies or the 47 kilos worth of their associated paraphernalia I usually carry. There’s knowing nods and smiles between other Mums doing the same, enjoying the freedom that sprawls in front of us in fluorescently lit aisles listening to the peace that is not the sound track of squabbling siblings. I take my time over the meat cabinet pondering what we’ll eat this week, I linger in the produce section to select perfect, unblemished fruit and vegetables instead of slinging them into the trolley from 10 meters away. I read packets and look at labels, I raise my eyebrows at interesting new products and I buy totally random shit in a fit of optimism and hope that I’ll have the time and fucks to spare to get creative with them….
And that is how I arrived home with a packet of cricket powder. Not cricket the game. Cricket the insects. A bag of actual ground up Gryllidae. I know what you’re thinking: why the fuck would you buy that? and, what the fuck would you do with it? Both excellent questions to which I had no immediate answer. To the why, I can only assume I was drunk and delirious on freedom and mistook myself for someone far more earthy and crunchy than I actually am. And the what, well that took a little more thinking about. I don’t often stand in my pantry thinking ‘shit, what’s really missing from my life is some petrified insect powder.’ But fuck it, I’m not one to be defeated, and the best option to ease into the whole insect eating business was obviously cookies, because chocolate makes everyfuckingthing edible. And the resulting snacks are bloody good; chocolatey, fudgey and pleasingly not a hint of petrified and powdered dead bugs.
I appreciate that bug powder probably isn’t high on the ‘fuck yeah, that sounds good’ list for most people, but if you can get over the ‘ick’ factor of eating critters it’s actually a totally legit and highly nutritious food loaded with plenty of protein, B12, iron, zinc, magnesium and omega. Plus if you eat it in high enough doses you’ll also be able to rub your legs together and chirp a cheerful summer song. Okay I made that last but up but it would be an excellent talent to have.
Get this stuff
1/2 C shredded coconut
2/3 C almond meal
1/3 C cricket powder
1/3 C dark cocoa
1/3 C monkfruit sweetener or your choice of granulated sweetener
1 t baking powder
1 egg
1/2 C crunchy peanut butter or whatever nut butter you want, have or like
1 t vanilla extract
1/4 C maple syrup (I used sugar free but you do you boo)
Optional:
2 scoops ATP Science chocolate Noway collagen protein, or your choice of collagen (definitely not essential but a nice little booster if you want to include it)
1/2 C (or however much your heart says) of dark chocolate chips or chunks. Again, totally optional but I reckon if you’re baking with dead bugs you’ve totally fucking earned the chocolate.
Do this with it
Preheat the oven to 160 degrees fan forced (or 180 degrees standard) and line a tray with baking paper.
Throw all the dry ingredients in one bowl, wet in the other and mix both well to combine. The dry will be, well, dry, but mixed. The wet will be thick and gloopy. Pour the wet into the dry and mix well to form a THICK, slightly sticky batter.
Roll into teaspoon-ish sized balls then flatten slightly on the tray.
Bake for 15-18 minutes until a crust forms on the outside and starts to crack, but if you poke them they’ll still be soft. Remove from the oven and transfer to a wire rack to cool and firm up slightly. Don’t be tempted to overcook them or you’ll lose the delicious fudginess.
Store in an airtight container and thank Jiminy every time you snack on his delicious protein loaded kin.
