Clean Eats From A Filthy Mouth
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healthy eating without hating life

So you want to eat healthier without hating life? This is the book for you my friends. Tasty, real food recipes for real life people that won’t leave you weeping into a bowl of kale and resentment. All seasoned with a healthy dose of shits and giggles, and quite a few fucks.

Critics may have described it as a thought provoking text for our times. Also childish, crass, smutty nonsense, a delightfully devilish romp through the kitchen, and a laugh out loud guide to good food. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, it’ll change your life. Who’s right? Who’s to say.

Take this book home and make up your own mind, maybe even cook something


Want to feel this excited about veggies?
step this way my friends


the people have spoken

My ass thanks Katie for this book in advance. The recipes in this book are a sure-fire way of staying in tip-top shape, eating fun, easy and quick meals, and will get my tits smaller so whenever I go for my ‘runs’ I don’t smack myself fully in the face with my huge-ass tits.
— Anika Moa

Somehow the Instagram algorithm put Katie Clitherow beneath my double-tapping finger a few years ago and, spotting a kindred fucking spirit, I followed her immediately. We have enjoyed each other’s expletive-laden, tongue-in-cheek, heart-on-sleeve conversations ever since. I’m really looking forward to leaving peanut butter and coconut oil stains all over the sheets of this funny as hell, informative, devil-may-care-about-calories book. I don’t really know what paleo and keto even mean but if the pages of this sweet, saucy gem of a Trans-Tasman tome are anything to go by, my muscles will be eating themselves in a week. Which is just as well because, as they say in Lalaland (where I’ll probably never end up), the camera adds five pounds.
— Amanda Billing

Katie and I were good friends at Hawera High School in the mid 90s. We sat next to each other for 2 years in Mr McLean’s Senior History class and I received a first class education. However, it was not Tudor and Stuart history that I acquired the most knowledge in that time. I was a typically clueless teenage boy about most things but Katie has always had a knack for guidance and teaching. Katie would basically answer any question about female anatomy and sensuality that I had without judgement or ridicule (to my face, anyway). She was a verbal- only, sexual guru, handing out free advice like some sort of cross between Yoda and Carrie Bradshaw. To this day, I don’t know the major causes of the English civil war but I do have a pretty good idea where the major erogenous zones are. Who needs Queen Elizabeth when you have Dr Ruth sitting next to you?
To be honest, I have absolutely no idea if she can cook but for this other information I am eternally grateful. Thank you Katie
— Ben Hurley

Life since Katie started feeding me has been a revelation. I had no idea a person could eat such huge amounts of salad and plant matter without growing buckteeth and a furry tail. My colon has never been so clean. And sometimes she even lets me eat real bread and pasta. I am truly a lucky man and my wife is a delight (she reminds me daily). I say this freely and without duress or fear for my life, marriage or testicles.
— Harry, content and well-nourished husband

We’re really lucky kids, we know because Mum tells us aaaaaalll the time. She says it’s because some kids don’t get home made treats in their lunchboxes, or fresh veggies for dinner, and some kids don’t get any food at all which sounds really sad. The thing is, we actually don’t mind her kinda weird creations and the piles of raw veggies like she thinks we’re rabbits or something, we’re just happy we aren’t forced to drink warm goats milk for breakfast like Nanny did to Mum
— Katie’s Blessed Crotchfruit