Dark Side Seed Crumbed Chicken

I don’t care how good a human you might think you are, we all have the potential to be lured to the dark side. Every villain has a history, every baddie has a backstory. 

Before he was a heavy breathing baddie Darth Vader was Anakin, a sweet little boy full of promise before he was made a slave, lost his mother, wife and limbs, survived being set on fire, brainwashed and manipulated. To be fair, that series of events would probably tip the pope over the edge into being a bit fucking cranky with the world.

Likewise, Malefecent wasn’t born the mistress of evil, but after having her wings hacked off by her lover and kept as a prize you can’t blame the poor bitch for feeling a touch embittered by betrayal.

And who could forget poor little Smeagol whose life took a turn for the worse thanks to an ill-fated birthday fishing trip. Seduced by a pretty little piece of jewellery that he later gambled away in a dodgy riddling match, then forced to live out his days in a monster filled cave without the no ring that started the trouble and some pretty brutal hair and tooth loss to boot. Talk about a party gone bad, no wonder the poor little bastard is a bit anti-social.

So how does this discourse on corruption relate to me, or my meal, you may ask? Well, it’s a chicken egg situation. Note the use of ‘and’ not ‘or’ here. It’s not a matter of who’s first, the problem is that they’re together. In one meal *Shudder*. You see, as a civilised individual I know that simultaneous consumption of chicken and egg is a crime against morality (and if I have to explain that act of barbarity to you then I have very grave concerns for the members of your community. No offence *cough* psychopath… *cough*). But sometimes, fuelled by appetite and desire for the savoury crunch that only a cripsy coating on tender, juicy poultry can satisfy, my taste buds take me to the dark side. 

This is probably the part where I should hang my head in shame at my savage behaviour, but I am remorseless and unrepentant. I see now why all those rascals and reprobates are always in evil hysterics, being bad is goooooood, dancing with the devil is a delight. Easy to make, seriously seeded and sinfully good; these guys are a gleefully wicked menu transgression I’ll be making again and again.

Get this stuff

4 chicken titties

1/2 C sesame seeds

1/4 C hemp seeds (or sub in extra sesame seeds)

1/4 C linseeds

1/2 C almond flour

1/4 C coconut flour

1 tsp garlic powder

1 tsp onion powder

1 tsp salt

Optional: 

1 tsp smoked paprika 

2 tsp savoury yeast

2-3 eggs

1 tbl sesame oil

Macadamia, coconut or olive oil to sprinkle for cooking

Do this with it

Preheat the oven to 200 degrees fan forced.

Line a large oven tray with baking paper.

Slice the chicken breast into tenders or nuggets. I did tenders because it means less of the gooky dipping and coating malarkey which pleases my impatient nature. You do you.

Mix all the seeds and shiz for the crumb together well in one bowl, beat the eggs and sesame oil in another.

You know the drill from here. One by one dip the chicken pieces in the egg (oh the fucking amoral horror of bathing mother in its young), then toss them in the crumb mix to get a good generous coating on. Lay each crumby chunk on the oven tray leaving a bit of room between so they have breathing space to crisp up in the oven.

Splash over a sprinkle of your chosen oil then whack the tray in the oven. Cook for 15 minutes on one side until golden and crispy, flip gently and repeat on the B side.

Serving options are plenty! Stack them on slaw, cram into a wrap with salad or just eat them straight off the tray doing the ‘hothothot’ juggle between fingers and steam breathing as you realise you feel the roof of your mouth blister and concede you should’ve let them cool slightly. Either way include lashings of some sort delicious saucy, dippy, dressing business for extra flavourful goodness.